by James Wallace Harris, 10/27/26
Looking old isn’t the worst part of growing old. Wrinkles and baldness are nothing. Needing surgeries is stressful, but you get over them. Even erectile dysfunction isn’t that depressing. No, what I hate most about getting old is becoming physically weak.
When my father died, I was eighteen. I rented the largest U-Haul truck and loaded it by myself with just a two-wheeler to move my mother and sister from Miami to Memphis. Now, I have to get a neighbor to help me put a 60-pound TV on a cabinet.
My wife’s legs have gotten so weak that if she falls, she can’t get up by herself, and I’m no longer strong enough to help her. That feeling of helplessness and weakness is what I dislike most about getting old. I hate it even more than memory loss.
On the positive side, I’m the lucky one because I can still grocery shop, do housework, and work in the yard.
But I really hate that I can’t lift heavy things. Women have always asked me to lift things, and now I can’t. Hell, young women offer to help me lift things at IKEA and Lowe’s. It’s even more emasculating than my other failure to raise an object.
I have two repaired hernias and two unrepaired, so it’s not for trying.
Not only can’t I lift things for women, but I can’t lift things for myself. Such as 40-pound bags of gravel from Home Depot, or the 45-pound Dobsonian telescope I’d love to buy, or the Forte IV speakers I fantasize about owning, which weigh 72 pounds each.
Instead of fantasizing about sex, I daydream about having a personal robot that can lift up to 400 pounds. Or I imagine inventing pint-size cranes and forklifts I can use around the house. I also wish I could get me and Susan exoskeletons.
I try to picture living another 10, 15, 25 years, while always lifting less and less weight. Now I know why people have children and grandchildren – they are pint-size cranes and forklifts that can fit in a house.
This is a challenging problem to solve, and I love solving problems. That gives me a positive attitude. This morning I woke up thinking about lightening my load by getting rid of stuff we don’t need around the house. Not only to learn to live with less, but to live with lighter possessions.
JWH
