Cat v Man @ 3:55 a.m.

by James Wallace Harris, May 10, 2021

Ozzy has developed a very annoying habit. We used to feed Ozzy and Lily their wet food at 6:30 a.m. and 6.30 p.m. Then after the time change, Ozzy started wanting his morning meal at 5:30 a.m. I kept telling him to learn to tell time and pointed to the digital clock with the large readout. He just ignored that. Instead, he started scratching at the covers pulling them down urging me to get out of bed. He also paws at my head and sniffs my mouth just like the cat in this video. (I couldn’t convince Susan to get up in the middle of the night to actually film Ozzy, so this video will have to do.)

Now I have to get up frequently at night because of prostrate troubles, often 7-8 times to pee, so Ozzy knows getting up is no big deal for me. I had the Urolift surgery in April but so far it hasn’t been a miracle. My doctor tells me it might take months for my bladder to break out of its bad habits. I am slowly peeing less often but I still get up at least once an hour, and Ozzy is convinced they are good times to be fed.

He’s demanding food earlier and earlier. At first I acquiesced to 5:30 a.m., but then the little fuzzy bastard got pushy, pestering me at 4:30 a.m. I realized he wouldn’t stop until I got up and gave him what he wanted.

Ozzy and Lilly like sleeping with me. Usually they come to bed after 2 a.m. when they’ve finished their routine late night rowdy romping, in that dark house time after Susan has gone to bed. Ozzy used to sleep soundly until morning, but evidently my frequent rising has altered his sleep patterns.

I tried tossing both of them outside the bedroom and closing the door, but they’ll make a terrible racket to get back in. When I saw this video about how a cat reacts when their human leave home it made me more considerate towards how a cat feels. I stopped closing them out before I went to sleep.

But Ozzy kept pestering me to feed him, earlier and earlier. This morning it was 3:55 a.m. I’ve learned that I can close the door to the bedroom after I feed them and they don’t complain. I find them sleeping soundly in the den after I get up for real.

It really annoys me when Ozzy wakes me up. I’ve tried scolding him, and pushing him off the nightstand, but he just returns and wakes me up again. I wish I could reason with Ozzy. I keep seeing these videos of dogs talking to their humans with buttons. I wonder if cats could do that too?

If I could talk to Ozzy I wonder if I could reason with him? We didn’t know dogs could talk until we gave them buttons, so maybe cats can too, and if they can communicate, maybe they can be reasoned with.

As of now, I’ve lost the war. But we’ve reached a détente. I refuse to feed them before 3:30 a.m. I did this by just laying there no matter what even though it will set off a night of insomnia. And when it is past 3:30 a.m. I’ve learned to quickly get up, find my way to the kitchen in the dark, only turn on the small light in the washer room next to the kitchen, open a can of Fancy Feast, give them exactly one half of the can, chop it up fine, put their plate down, stick the rest of the can in a plastic container, turn off the light, and put it in the fridge, and go back to bed.

I can usually get back to sleep instantly if I stay calm and don’t get annoyed at Ozzy.


8 thoughts on “Cat v Man @ 3:55 a.m.”

  1. how about feeding them when you go to bed and twelve hours later? or three feedings; 1/3 when you go to bed, 8 hrs later, and 16 hours later?

  2. Why don’t you leave out some food or kibble before you go to bed (like I do)? Or get one of those time operated feeders?

    1. Actually, my going to bed ritually includes putting out dry food. Ozzy and Lily know when I’m retiring and lead me to their dry food bowl. It’s funny, but they are hypersensitive to routines. And they are beggars for people’s food. If they hear me open a yogurt they come running. They want to lick the lip and cup. For me to eat my meals, I have to give them a treat and put them in the back of the house. I know, it sounds like I’m completely pussywhipped.

  3. So far, Maisie hasn’t been a problem at night. We leave some food for her at night, and then shut her out of the bedrooms. One night, she followed me into my bedroom and lay on the bed for a while. I would’ve allowed her to stay the night, but that would’ve meant I had to leave the bedroom door open, which I’m not used to. Anyway, In the middle of the night I noticed she was gone, and I found her sleeping in one of her two favorite sleeping spots, both of which have cat beds, in the living room. So far, she hasn’t bothered us at night, but then, she has such a squeaky, puny little meow that I wouldn’t hear her.

  4. Maybe the cats understand that you have “prostrate” problems and are just trying to help you get upright, rather than uptight. Cats can be pretty astute critters.

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