I, Sisyphus, Blogger

Sisyphus was a Greek dude the gods condemn to roll a rock endlessly up a hill.  Albert Camus came along in the 20th century and gave The Myth of Sisyphus an existential twist.  Camus said living is like endlessly rolling a rock up a hill, but if we can find personal purpose while we’re doing something so meaningless we can overcome the meaninglessness of reality.  I think of blogging as chronicling my life of endlessly rolling  a rock up my hill.  I beat the gods by understanding the nature of reality, even if I have no higher metaphysical purpose.  Camus saw the lack of meaning in reality as a form of absurdity, but I don’t.  The randomness of reality might feel like we’re rolling a rock up the same hill over and over again, but we’re not.  Humans have always lied to themselves that we serve God’s purpose to console ourselves with imaginary meaning, but isn’t finding our own purpose in an indifferent multiverse actually more empowering?  Sisyphus was condemned to his task by the gods for having hubris.  A godless reality has condemned us to a short existence of self-awareness in an awe inspiringly huge existence.  Although we are born into the limits of our natural design, it appears we have a mind that will allow us to out think those limits.

Sisyphus-wide

Blogging is not a chore for me, but it does require I make an effort.  In fact, I want to make the best possible effort.  If I don’t, I’m just rolling a rock up a hill.

Blogging has to be more than puking words out through my keyboard.  Blogging is anti-entropic.  This universe is entropic, so overall things are coming apart, but as it does, there are swirling eddies of highly organized anti-entropic events.  Life is one of those events.  Even though I shall return to dust someday, and the atomic elements in my body will dissipate and join less organized states, I exist momentarily in a highly organized, self-aware, anti-entropic state.  I have a window on reality.

We are all windows on reality, observing existence.  I can see why pantheists like to think that everything is God—but that’s an illusion too.  Reality is unaware of itself, only we rare eddies of complexities, swirling in the dust of existence, notice that something is here.  We’re quite insignificant in the scheme of things.  We roll our rocks and then we die.  Our window on reality closes.

Blogging is my way organizing words in highly anti-entropic arrangements about what I see from my window.  We all struggle in our own way against the heat death of the universe.  We each see different views while looking through different windows, but we’re all looking on the same reality.

Each essay I write for this blog is an effort to create order against the tide to disorder.  My body has long past the point of its most organized state, but I believe even though my mind is beginning to come apart, I’m making the most organized observations of my life.  Sometimes the most complex eddies of organization come when larger organized structures are breaking apart.  Creation always comes from destruction. 

There are dynamics to blogging that I’m still learning, and will always be learning.  The medium is sometimes more complex than the messages.  My job is to write.  If I write something interesting, something that’s anti-entropic and interesting from your window of observation, you’ll enjoy what I’ve written.  The more I’m read, the more I’m challenged to write even more interestingly. 

How long can I do this?  Sometime between now and when I die, I’ll run out of mental momentum and my writing will fall apart into disorder.  But until it does, I’ll struggle to write more and more precise observations.  If dementia doesn’t overcome me, I should get better at writing, which is creating ever more ordered anti-entropic essays and observations.

Some days when I sit down to write my mind is not very orderly, and I produce crappy essays.  Other days, something comes together, and the words come out in patterns I didn’t anticipate and I catch a wave to ride, and writing feels like I’m surfing something big and moving.  I know what I do is a product of my conscious and unconscious minds in relationship with the random events of my life.  Life really is like a routine of rolling a rock up a hill over and over again.  It’s seeing the patterns and making the observations that give our meaningless existence an existential fulfillment.

JWH – 7/31/14

2 thoughts on “I, Sisyphus, Blogger”

  1. “Blogging is not a chore for me, but it does require I make an effort. In fact, I want to make the best possible effort. If I don’t, I’m just rolling a rock up a hill.”

    Amen. I’m curious what you think about rolling the rock up the hill 140 characters maximum at a time or is that just pushing a pebble?

    1. I might use a different metaphor for Tweeting. It’s more like putting a message in a bottle and hoping someone finds it. It’s also like writing the first line of a story or essay where you hope to capture the person’s attention and keep it.

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