I woke up early this morning and started fantasizing scenes from the story I hope to make into a novel. I’ve been writing novels in my head for most of my life, but except for when I’m taking writing courses (with deadlines), I just don’t write fiction. I should be honest with myself and admit I’m never going to write that novel.
But I can’t.
All my work life I dreamed of having time to work on my novel, and now that I’m retired and have that time, I don’t. That should emphatically tell me something too.
But I’m not listening. I keep thinking I’ll change. And herein lies the rub. I need to change! But can I change? It will require a metamorphosis not as extreme as Kafka’s Gregor Samsa, but pretty close. I don’t need to become a six foot bug, but I do need to become something that’s not like me at all.
And the willpower for this change will be greater than even losing the weight to have a healthy body mass index – and I’ve never been able to lose weight either.
I know, I’ve whined about this many times before. I’m sure I’m boring what few regular readers I have for this blog. But I keep thinking, this time will be different. This time I can write something that will convince myself to change.
Do you believe me? I wouldn’t either. But should I give up?
After breakfast I sat on my couch and thought about this. What would it take for me to change? Without being drastic, without going overboard, I figured all I need to do is alter some of my habits but keep most of them so I won’t freak out. Currently, I like to write a blog post every morning, and that averages about a 1,000 words. I’m usually through by noon.
Step one. From now on I can only write fiction before noon. I can do anything I want after noon, even write blogs, but before noon, I can only write fiction. That should give me plenty of time to pursue all my favorite time-wasting activities, so I won’t feel deprived, but enough time to get some novel writing done.
Step two. I spend most of my reading time reading off the web with Zite, News360 and Flipboard, or reading nonfiction books, or nonfiction from magazines. All of this nonfiction inspires me to write nonfiction blogs. I need to read more short stories and novels. I don’t think I can kick this nonfiction reading habit, but I’ll try to never read nonfiction before 3pm, and spend time after lunch reading and studying fiction.
Step three. I should only read fiction that I wished I had written. I need both inspiration and models. I need to study what I like and figure out how it works.
Step four. Let’s see if I can stick to these three baby steps until June 1st and see what happens.
p.s. This means I might be posting fewer blogs.
JWH – 4/26/14