Hope the Kittens Don’t Eat Me

by James Wallace Harris, Wednesday, April 10, 2019

At noon today, I snuck into the kitchen hoping to eat my egg salad sandwich before I had to feed the kittens. I’m doing an intermittent fast, so I haven’t eaten in 16 hours. I had already fed the kittens once this morning. I reached into the cabinet to get a saucer, but it made the tiniest of clanking noises, and the kittens thundered into the kitchen from the back bedroom, slamming their little bodies against the dishwasher to break their dash.

I had to feed them first. Damn. And Susan thinks we can get them off of Fancy Feast and onto a steady diet of crunchies. Ha!

I quickly put down their food and made my sandwich, but before I could take two bites Lily was climbing my leg. She’s gone crazy for people food lately.

K2

I was gobbling down my sandwich as fast as I could. Lily won’t take no for an answer.

K3

She’s a very determined tiny little kitten. But as she got to my waist, she saw a whole new world of the kitchen countertops. We’ve been worried when they were going to discover the counters. They’re already climbing higher and higher on everything.

K4

And then I saw she’s learned to do this:

No telling what is next.

If I’m found dead and the flesh is eaten off of me. Suspect the kittens.

JWH

6 thoughts on “Hope the Kittens Don’t Eat Me”

  1. If my kitties want to snack on me when I’m gone, I’m OK with it. I just wish one of them would relent in his ceaseless quest for people food.

    1. I can’t eat in peace anymore when Lily is around. She just won’t give up. I either have to shut them up in the back of the house or go in the back myself.

      1. I feel you. The yowling wears me down more than the sneak attacks on my dinner. Lily looks super cute though.

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