It’s been awhile since I’ve posted anything on Auxiliary Memory. I’ve started several essays but never finished any. I also started a diet. I’ve notice over the years that there’s a relationship between calories and the number of words I produce. Cookies, cokes, cakes and candy fuel my mind for writing. Dieting leaves my brain lethargic, suitable only for watching TV. And man have I been watching TV this past two weeks! I’ve seen 33 episodes of Battlestar Galactica. I had to boost my Netflix from 1 disc at a time to 3 to keep up with my hunger for more shows, watching up to 4 episodes a night.
The difference between being active and passive is junk food. But since I’ve ballooned to 237 pounds I can’t keep feeding my creative drive. And those healthy fruits and vegetables just don’t stoke the fire to crank out words. I’ve got to find some kind of discipline to get back into writing. Without sweet calories, I guess I need to learn how to push myself by will-power alone.
Of course, I’ve got to ask myself why write at all? Not to mention the fact that I’ve been mentally beating myself up for the last couple years for writing on the blog instead of working on fiction. Blog writing is like practicing the piano. It’s very good for mental health. For the last decade I’ve been forgetting more and more words, and even how to pronounce them. When I started blog writing that boosted my ability to remember.
Getting old has other side affects besides the slowing of brain access speeds. There is a tendency to solidify thoughts in old age, so if you’re not careful you’ll parrot your frozen opinions whenever a response is needed. Exploring concepts in a blog helps break down comfortable old opinions into their basic parts so you can start over and remodel the rooms in your brain.
All this new thinking requires energy and time. My best time to write is mornings, but Monday through Friday I have work, and often on the weekends I have personal obligations. Writing at night requires lots of extra calories. The obvious solution is to get up at 4 or 5 in the morning and write before work, but right now I don’t have that kind of discipline. My body naturally wants to sleep until 6:30 am when the cats start meowing for their breakfast.
There are alternative fuels for writing. Sometimes playing loud music can stimulate my brain cells. Other times reading an inspiring article and taking a short nap to digest the thoughts will get me to jump up and start writing. I’ve never had the mental energy to write like a professional writer, that is to stick to writing like working a 9 to 5. Real writers can write when they’re not in the mood, or when they lack the energy. Real writers can’t not write, but I don’t have that demon.
One way or another I’ve got to find the energy to write. I would be tempted by artificial stimulants, but my old body can’t even handle caffeine anymore. I know I can’t stop writing because my mind would quickly start sliding downhill again.
JWH – 3/29/9